


Split Parental Supervision

by PaxDuane



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Arceus being Arceus, Hijinks & Shenanigans, I don't know what to feel about this, I make some implications here, Legendaries, Lugia and Tapu Koko are Ash's parents, Other, Sort Of, chat fic, extremely indulgent, group chats, it was a complicated process, kind of, prophecies were made
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 15:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaxDuane/pseuds/PaxDuane
Summary: Ash is awoken by something flying overhead and ends up getting dragged into something he might have liked to have known earlier on. Like anyone else is going to believe it's not a metaphor. Except maybe the Kahunas... Also, how do the legendary pokemon have what basically amounts to a group chat?





	Split Parental Supervision

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OasisLake76](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OasisLake76/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Pokemon Chat Broke](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19823800) by [OasisLake76](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OasisLake76/pseuds/OasisLake76). 

> Inspired by the line in chapter 5 (which bares the same name as this fic) of Oasis's _Pokemon Chat Broke_ " **AshesToAshes**:i feel like Lugia and Tapu Koko have split parental supervision over me and Lugia was just passing me off to his Ex husband "

Ash is awoken by a rush of wind over the open skylight above his futon, powerful enough to shake everything around him. It triggers some kind of run-for-your-life/hero-complex thing in him and sends him down the ladder and out the door.

Was Ash surprised to see Lugia when he stepped out onto the porch of Professor Kukui’s house around midday? Well yes, but only insomuch as someone who can definitely rationalize the behavior of the legendaries he knows when they pull something new can be surprised.

The better question is: is he disappointed?

Yeah, kinda.

“Really?” he asks the Beast of the Sea, who is resting his head on the beach.

Lugia chirps at him.

Ash shrugs and jaunts down the stairs, across the beach, and over to the legendary. Before he has a chance to actually physically greet him, the boy stops and pulls out his phone and turns around to take a selfie.

He sends it to the group chat with title: **AhShit**.

And then Lugia takes his hat, startling him into another picture. He evaluates whether it would be quicker to get the hat back first, but shrugs that thought away and sends that picture to the group chat too, titling it: **HereWeGoAgain**.

Lugia trills until Ash finally puts his phone away and climbs atop the legendary to retrieve his hat. The moment skin touches skin, it’s like they were never separated.

Ash can hear everyone. Not all of the other humans, not even all of the other pokemon, just the other legendaries. They’re all at various levels of vibration, talking to each other far away. From the shock, he falls off of Lugia and onto the sand.

“Was that necessary?” he asks, because he knows Lugia can control that thing.

Lugia chuckles. “It is easier to communicate when you speak our language.”

Ash wonders vaguely if it’s like Kalosian and Kantonian and Alolian and all of the other languages, if legendaries are raised on it by Arceus or whoever and then they learn the language of other pokemon and humans.

Lugia nuzzles his snout up against Ash’s face, making the boy laugh.

“Come on, I’m eighteen, not some dumb eleven year old who got roped into a prophecy,” Ash insists.

“You are still very much a child,” Lugia lectures, “You will be until you reach firm maturity.”

“And when is that supposed to be?” Ash asks, pushing himself back up off the beach. His phone is going off like crazy.

“Oh, when you’re about three hundred,” Lugia says, tone meant to be consoling.

“I am not going to live to be three hundred, let alone past that,” Ash insists, but he gets the feeling that if Lugia was human that the legendary would be raising an eyebrow at that.

“You are a child,” Lugia says, bringing its chin down to bop Ash on the head. “You are my child. Your enrichment has been lacking lately. Let’s play a game.”

“A game?” Ash asks, somewhat aghast? Finally his phone gets a little too loud, accompanied by a shout from inside the house. “One second, let me check the group chat.”

“The legendaries also have a group chat,” Lugia alerts him.

“Is that what I can hear?” Ash asks, deadpan, as he takes out his phone.

“Yes.”

“Greaaaaat,” Ash says. “One second, I need to reiterate the whole Chosen One thing.”

“The Awaited Child,” Lugia says, his tone sounding more like a correction.

Ash isn’t touching that topic, thanks.

“May I say hello to your friends?” Lugia asks after a few minutes of furious typing and Ash’s growing exasperation at his friends and family.

Ash looks up at him. “I guess? How?”

“Another picture, I think. Let me have your hat again,” Lugia insists.

Ash puts his hat on top of Lugia’s head then snaps the photograph for the group chat, titling it: **HeSaysHi**. Then he follows it up with conformation that it is indeed his hat that Lugia is wearing.

“You were saying something about a game?” Ash asks after finally putting up his phone, wincing at Professor Kukui’s reaction.

It ends with Ash blowing up a beach ball and wading into the water, having to balance carefully on a wave that Lugia is using to keep him level with the legendary itself, and the two of them playing “don’t drop the beach ball.”

And it is fun, it’s some of the most fun Ash has had in a while. Maybe because it’s so gentle, so simple, that he just gets lost in it. That’s when the rest of the legendary “group chat” comes into focus.

Somehow he manages to make up and understand chat names so he has no clue what’s going on, thanks. And, of course, he being himself means he comes in at just the wrong time.

**Grandpa**: And that’s why Yveltal is awake.

**TheAwaitedChild**: I’m sorry WHAT?

**DiamondsAreAPokemonsBestFriend**: Oh shit.

**OhDeer**: The CHILDE! Lugia you reattached hiiiim. Hello, Ash-Childe!

**TheAwaitedChild**: Um

**Beastie**: Don’t overwhelm him. I’m looking at you, Mythicals. Or the Birds. Or the Beasts.

Ash can hear the whines.

**PearlsofWisdom**: oh no

**UwU**: Ash! the best boy in the whowe wide muwtivewse!

**Beastie**: Giratina why

**Grandpa**: We may need a timeout from the hellspeak.

**TheAwaitedChild**: No Giwatina, iwt iws uwu who awe the best boy!

**HereComesThe**: Giratina I blame you for this

**Grandpa**: _Gira_

** _UwU_ ** _ has gone back to the Distortion World! It doesn’t have lighting there._

**Grandma**: Ash!!!

**TheAwaitedChild**: I am so confused right now.

**CloneMa**: That’s pretty normal. When Mew hooked me in I was reeling for like. Two years.

**TheAwaitedChild**: Hey so uh

**TheAwaitedChild**: Did Mew or Arceus come first? **@Grandpa** **@Grandma**

**Grandpa**: Mew was like a second before me. Why?

**TheAwaitedChild**: I feel like it’s going to come up.

**HereComesThe**: **@Beastie @TheAwaitedChild** Where are you

**TheAwaitedChild**: Beach by Professor Kukui’s house. Why?

**HereComesThe**: OMW

**WhaleThen**: Aww, Groudon and I wanted to talk with him too. And Rayquaza too, probably.

**Beastie**: Perish.

Ash only has a moment before a high pitched sound, not unlike a cutiefly, is hurtling towards them. Tapu Koko catches the beach ball out of the air and hovers above them.

“Nice to see you spending time with our keiki,” Tapu Koko grumbles.

“Oh?” The raised eyebrow feeling emanates from Lugia again. “Yes, his enrichment has been lacking. You’ve not been spending time with him.”

Tapu Koko’s movements go wild, until it’s in a near headbutt position against Lugia. “I have!”

“Battling doesn’t count, especially so violently.”

“Oh and how you two first met wasn’t?”

“His brothers were being captured,” Lugia hisses.

“Uh, guys?” Ash says, taking the beach ball from Tapu Koko. “You okay?”

Lugia and Tapu Koko turn to look at him.

“Just fine,” Tapu Koko says, flying backwards and huffing. “We shouldn’t be arguing about this in front of him.”

“Of course we shouldn’t, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t _know_,” Lugia insists.

“Know what?” Ash asks.

“You know when I said you are not the Chosen One but the Awaited Child?” Lugia asks.

“Yeah, and it’s my name in the legendary group chat, right?” Ash says.

“Weeeellllllll,” Lugia draws out.

“This one and I,” Tapu Koko interrupts, pointing at Lugia, “A while back we decided we wanted a child. And it took a long time before the conditions became right. And, uh. Well by that time, Tapu Lele and Ho-oh and a couple others had been looking into the future, checking for us, and caught a few other things. And then some of the humans that can somewhat learn the language of the legendaries caught on to those, and you, and, well.”

Lugia grimaces for both of them. “You are our awaited child, though the wait did break us apart for a while. Maybe forever. Because of where you were born, and chronology and such, you were put into my custody for the split. Since you’re now in Ko—Tapu Koko’s part of the world, I need to technically transfer custody. Still, you are our shared child.”

“I’m an adult,” Ash insists first.

“Not for at least another two hundred and eighty years,” Tapu Koko says.

Ash glares at him. “Well, and I have a human mom. And, technically, very, very, technically a human father.”

Both of the legendaries snort at that.

“Yes, you have a human mother. And that other one,” Lugia says, “Of course you do! How else were we supposed to have you?”

Ash stares at them. “You could have, I don’t know, asked Arceus?”

Tapu Koko huffs and looks off at the horizon.

“That is how he told us to do it, Ash,” Lugia says. “It’s different for every legendary pair.”

“He was probably also being a cagey, manipulative bastard,” Tapu Koko adds. “With everything that’s happened.”

**Grandpa**: I can hear you guys.

**HereComesThe**: You’re omnipresent, no duh.

Ash nods. “Seems like him?”

**Grandpa**: Not you too…

Ash doubles down. “Seems like him.”

“Anyways,” Lugia says, “You’re officially Tapu Koko’s responsibility now, unless he asks for help. Make sure to be nice to all your aunts and uncles over on this end of the world. Unless they try to kill you, then go wild.”

“Uh, sure?” Ash says.

The wave he’d been balancing on rolls gently away, depositing him on the beach. Lugia dives off.

“Wait, are you guys going to take me out of the legendary group chat?” Ash asks Tapu Koko.

Tapu Koko stares at the boy then rushes off.

**TheAwaitedChild**: Not Funny!


End file.
